The End of an Era? I hope not.

This posting refers to something dear to my heart that began 4 years ago. It was amazing and ever since December, something just isn't right.
Frustration. Hurt. Excluded. Drifting. Unexplained behavior. Is it worth it? Of course it is, but I'm quickly getting burnt out trying to make it work.

Bulleted list...an Update

-I spoke with UNMC today regarding grad school. Now it's time to decide which program exactly I want to apply for....(and I thought I was finished making that big decision of what to do with my life.) :)
-I was very stressed last night and cried for a good hour. I say good hour, because this cry had been brewing for a long time and I felt so much better afterwords. I have been feeling a lot of stress with my job and the changes taking place in life right now, so needed a little vent time. I was reminded of how comforting a good friend can be in a time like this. Ya know how there are certain people who seem to know the right things to say? Yep, that's her....
-Andrew had flowers and a teddy bear sent to my work today. What a day-brightener and a sweet guy. He's so calm and patient with my stress about everything that's going on. Often things that go on at work upset me and I don't take time to deal with it. Andrew seems to know that all I need many times is to talk out what's going on. At the same time, he's very supportive and wonderful. I feel very lucky....
-I'll be in Lincoln this weekend for Andrew's graduation gathering, to meet a couple friends for lunch, attend a wedding, to attend a bridal shower, and then listen to my dad sing in an a capella concert. I'm excited for this weekend. I'm spending time with people I care about...how exciting!
Happy Weekend!

Easter Weekend

This Easter weekend was a great one. I worked Friday until around 8:30pm. Andrew cooked me dinner at my apartment that evening. He had it ready when I came home from work.
Saturday morning, Andrew and I went to his Grandparent's auction. They are in the process of selling the family farm. After we were at the auction for a while, his Grandpa was ready to go home and so were we, so we took him back to his house and hung out there for the afternoon. It was so comforting as the exchanges between his Grandpa and him, and also their house and the whole environment reminded me of being at Great Grandma and Great Grandpa's house in Valley. I miss those times. I played Andrew's Grandma's piano for quite a while, then Andrew and I played cards. When everyone else got home, I learned how to play Pinochle, and the importance of this game to the Hopp family. It's similar to my family and the game Shanghi. We went over to Andrew's Aunt and Uncle's house for supper and more Pinochle. His entire family is very sweet and made me feel at home. I enjoyed spending time with them and as always, I love observing people and how they interact. It was a great evening.
Back in Lincoln Sunday morning, I went to early church, then came back to my parent's house and took a 2 hour nap! Wooo! After awaking from this wonderful nap, my parents and I met my mom's friend at the Cornhusker and had Easter brunch at the hotel. This was the second year we had our Easter meal here, and I really enjoyed the atmosphere. After brunch, we went back home and I began looking through pictures from when I was younger. Mom, Dad, and I went to the movie Failure to Launch later that afternoon. It was a funny movie. We went back home after that, and Dad and I looked at old pictures the rest of the afternoon. It felt great to be home. Later that evening, I went to Husker Courtyards to visit Steph, Steph, and Sarah. It was great to see them. I intended to leave around 11pm because I had to get up early the next morning, but didn't leave until 12:30am....and it was worth it! I miss living there and being close to those girls.
Monday morning, I woke up early and drove to Falls City to spend time with Andrew's family. I really enjoyed the day. We drove around the town, walked around Andrew's high school, then Andrew's mom and I looked at his and my baby pictures. We played Scrabble and I drove their manual transmission pick-up truck. We ate 2 yummy meals and played a couple games of Pinochle.
Andrew and I talked for the entire ride home. We had serious talks and we also laughed a lot. I am very much in love. Words just can't do justice....
Have a wonderful week!

Comfort of familiar times vs. the Present time

I played oboe and sung in the chior at the Lutheran Student Center today. It was so comforting to be surrounded by friends and participate in what was familiar to me. I was happy to see my friends from the Center and loved the hugs and chats I had with friends there today. Although I'm happy with my life now, there is a part of me that misses my life in Lincoln. I was comforable with the care-free attitude and minimal responsibility that made up my life. I was good at school, and loved being surrounded by friends there. I am now in a profession that still intimidates me. I am becoming more and more comfortable, but it's still quite scary to me. Once in a while, I long for the days of staying up until 2am for the sole purpose of playing pitch with my roommates.
I spent some time with Andrew this weekend too. I can try to describe our relationship, but words just don't do justice. This is the most amazing feeling I've ever had, and I feel incredibly lucky to be in this journey of life with him. He will be moving to western Iowa this summer and will teach there next year. I'm so excited that he will be closer!
Life and the change involved with life can be scary, but it's also an exciting adventure. Change, although intimidating, can be extremely beneficial. I feel that I have grown up a lot since graduation. I'm still my silly self, but I definitely am gaining a grasp on who I want to be and what I want to do with my life.
Okay, it's way past my bedtime and I work 4 days this week, so I'm off to bed. Happy end of the semester to everyone back in Lincoln! I send positive study vibes and lots of hugs your way!