Frustrated

Just for the record, I am usually a very happy and optimistic person. I tend to only journal when I'm sad and/or frustrated. Now that I've said that, here I go...

I'm frustrated with my job. I'm tired of watching kids suffer. I realize I'm there to help them and feel honored to help people through these times and coach the kids and families through times of need, but I'm so emotionally drained. Furthermore, I'm sad that some of our children die despite all of the efforts to make them healthy. It's not fair. I watched a child die last week. It's something I never want to happen again or ever see again. My logical side knows that children can die just like adults, but it's hard to tell my heart that.

I'm tired of coming home sad, angry, crying, and short-tempered. I'm tired of being the in-between for doctors, families, and other caregivers and getting blamed for everything that goes wrong and expected to be responsible for the entire scope of care.

I'm tired of empty promises---promises of working fewer weekends, etc. I'm tired of working weekends and hardly seeing Andrew. I don't like working holidays either.

Other than that, things are peachy. Hopefully you spared yourself and didn't read this entire venting session. I am done now and I feel better. Thank you.