Take a deep breath.

School begins tomorrow. Although I'm excited for the challenges that await me, I am a little stressed about them as well. I have a lot on my plate this semester. I am in marching band, I will have many hours of clinicals and classes, I am an outreach director at my church, and I will spend a significant amount of time applying and interviewing for nursing positions. My Grandpa's health weighs heavy on my mind as well. I will visit again in December, and may take some time off after graduation to spend with him. It's hard being far away, but letters and phone calls have helped to make this gap more bearable.
Scott and I recently had what I consider to be a test of our relationship. We had a night a couple weeks ago that ended on more of a negative note than a positive one. This experience has demonstrated to me how much he means to me and how much I care about him. I pray for our relationship to take the path that God has intended it to take, of course hoping it means we will be together. Although I feel like a part of our relationship briefly left that night, I have faith that it will come back and we will be okay. The power of love is pretty amazing.
Good luck as you begin this new school year. I wish you all good times, good friends, and good studies. Don't forget to take some time to be silly!

Today

Today was a big day. We are in the midst of band camp with the schedule running from 8:30am-10pm. It has been very crazy, but I sure love band. It's very much worth every ounce of tiredness and hard work.
I talked to my Mom today and found out the results of my Grandpa's visit with the Oncologist. The news isn't good, but staying optimistic is important. The focuses in his care include prolonging life and making him comfortable. I haven't yet taken time to think, process, and emotionally deal with this new developement, but I'm just not ready yet. I'm not ready to face the fact that he is this sick...I just can't do it.
My friend had her baby this afternoon. I went to the hospital to hold him during my dinner break. What a perfect baby and what a wonderful opportunity to meet him on his first day of life. I hope to be an active part as he grows up.
Tonight after practice, I attended a band party where I saw many people I hadn't seen in a long time. It's so comforting to see friends from the past.
Okay time for bed. I wish you all peace in your final week before classes begin.

BRING IT, final semester!

I'm ready for school to start. I had my first meeting last night for my job as outreach director at church. I'm very excited to serve in this position. I start band camp on Friday...sooo exciting! I love band. As classes begin soon, I know this will be a very busy and chaotic semester. I am excited by chaos though and I'm ready for the challenge. The light at the end of the tunnel (graduation!) is growing and there are many exciting things happening this semester. Besides school, work, and band, I will be applying for RN jobs in Omaha, and moving into an apartment.
Em moves to Oklahoma tomorrow. I'm sad to be far away from her, but I'm so proud that she's pursuing her goals and conquering grad school. Scott and I are going to take a weekend trip down to Norman, Oklahoma this fall.
I wish I could still be in Florida near my Grandparents as all of these exciting things are happening this fall. However, I will go there for Christmas this year...I'm sure it will be here before we know it.
Good luck with school, everyone! I'll see you in the mass chaos! :)

What it all means...

This weekend has been a great reminder of what is really important in life and what it all really means. Although I am far from having all the answers to life, I have learned a lot this weekend. I am sitting here right now as my Grandpa is taking a short nap before dinner. He and I have had some wonderful conversations this weekend and shared some moments that taught me and reminded me of what is important in life. When faced with a life-threatening illness, one is forced to put prioritize life in a way that ranks things from most important to least important. For instance, right now the only things mattering to my family are each other, friends, and God. As I come back to Nebraska tomorrow, I will carry that with me. It will be hard to leave tomorrow...I have tried to be my Grandpa's assistant and provide encouragement around here. He has given me some random pieces of advice this week like he does when we're together. One examples is to never begin a sentence with "You're not" when addressing someone. It belittles people and makes them feel small. He said to address people with optimism and confidence. I said, "Grandpa, that makes a lot of sense...I will sure remember that."
Thanks for all you've taught me, Grandpa. I know you will fight this with utmost courage.