Survey

I read this on Erin's blog who got it from Amanda. I really like reading these things about other people, so I thought I'd continue the trend and fill one out. I encourage you to copy it and change the answers and post it because it's fun! yay!
Okay, here it goes...
1. What is your current occupation? student (soon to be registered nurse)
2. What color is your underwear? grey right now, but I have a wide variety
3.What are you listening to right now? "Remember Me" by Mark Schultz
4. What was the last thing you ate? WOW BBQ chips...yeah, the ones with no fat and lots of olestra...yum!
5. Do you wish on stars? of course
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? hot pink!
7. How is the weather right now? chilly
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Scott
9. What do you do in your spare time? what spare time? :) I love spending time with my friends and family. Karaoke is lots of fun too!
10. Favorite drink non alcoholic? Diet Pepsi
11. Favorite sport to watch? none...I'll go with Erin and say the halftime performance by the MARCHING BAND!
13. Do you wear contacts or glasses? reading glasses
14. Pets? I want a puppy next year....what do you think, Julie? PLEASE?! :)
15. Favorite month? December and February
16. Who is your favorite singr? Rascal Flatts
17. What was the last movie you watched? Back to the Future
18.Favorite day of the year? My birthday
19. What do you do to vent anger? yell or cry
20. What was your favorite toy as a child? My 13 Cabbage Patch dolls
21. Hugs or Kisses? depends on my mood
22. Cherry or blueberry?cherry! (with ice cream underneath of course!)
23. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? n/a
24. Living Arrangements? apartment with 3 of my best friends
25. When was the last time you cried? Saturday night
26. What is on the floor of your closet? where to begin....a guitar, my TV, plus much much more!
27. Who is the friend you have had the longest that this e-mail is going out to? Em is the person who has known me the longest (22 years to be exact)--also my roommates have known me for quite a while
28. What did you do last night? homework, went to work, and went to Walmart
29. What inspires you? music! also, the people in my life and God
30. Favorite smell? me after a shower! oh and this cologne that says it smells like a "sexy modern cowboy"--it's pretty great
31. Plain, cheese, or spicy burgers? none of the above
32. Favorite car? my saturn is just fine with me
33. Favorite dog-breed? how about a toy poodle? please, Julie?!
34. Number of keys on your key ring? 6
35. How many years at your current job? this is my first year as an Outreach Director, but I have been a babysitter/nanny for about 6 years
36. Favorite day of the week?depends on the week...when I get to sleep in!
37. How many states have you lived in? 1
38. How many cities have you lived in? 1 (soon to be 2)

Times that make you go awww

Have you ever had one of those moments that caused you to stop and feel happy? It's like a warm feeling inside you only get in those unexpected moments from someone you totally wouldn't expect it from. Today after band, I was chatting with one of the freshmen on the squad. After a short conversation, she said "I wish you were my big sister. Not like the flag big sister (it's where we buy presents for each other for football games and performances), but like in real life." She proceeded to tell me how she is the oldest of 4, and has never really had a figure to fill this role of an older sibling. Our whole exchange caught me off guard. I never realized the extent of meaning our short talks had. I really enjoy talking with her, and this unexpected surprise made my day. I don't know if she'll ever know how much this conversation meant to me. Anyhoo, to conclude the story, I assured her that from this moment on, I would be her big sister.

Proper use of a Blog

This post is meant to be a generic reminder of what is appropriate in a blog. I recently read a blog entry about me from someone I consider one of my best friends. The posting was negative and I would even go so far as to say untrue. This hurts worse than anything I have felt in a while. Just a reminder that someone is on the other end of the blog. Time to go mend a heart that has now been broken even further...

Washing a multicolored pen with my light clothes...awesome.

This post is dedicated to yesterday's series of events that had to make me laugh. I had my 12-hour clinical yesterday. I had a few spots of human excrement on my scrubs (this is not uncommon...doesn't really phase me.) Anyhoo, I wanted to wash them right away, so right when I got home last night, I gathered up all of my light and white clothes. When I went to take them out of the washer, I noticed that several of the pieces of clothing were way more colorful than when I put them in the washer. I found the culprit....I washed a MULTICOLORED PEN with my clothes! I'm telling you, these clothes, towels, underwear, etc are sooo colorful now! What a mess! It made me laugh though.
After all that mess last night, Hopp and Andrew came over to play pitch....I love pitch! After a game and a half of pitch, I was on my way to bed when I was pleasantly surprised by a visit from Amanda. I love it when friends visit....it made me happy :-D
Good luck with the rest of your week everybody, and remember the moral of my story.....When you want your clothes to look like they did when you put them in the washer, don't put a multicolored pen in with them! That's all for now. Chao! :)

I'm stepping off the emotional roller coaster.

After 4 weeks of Scott and I discussing our relationship and going back and forth in our thoughts of what we should do, I have decided that I'm done. A month is a long time to make each other miserable. We had moments of happiness when I felt that maybe we had a chance of getting back together. However, these moments were clouded by the enormous amounts of stress we had towards the end of our dating relationship. Scott was the first person I fell in love with. I experienced love and all the wonderful aspects of a great relationship. This hurts a lot. I truely wish he and I could be happy and have the kind of relationship we had starting last March. However, as these quotes emphasize, some things are not meant to be at this time. Time will tell what happens between us...until then, I'm left with a broken heart.

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together." ~Author Unknown

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." ~Kenji Miyazawa

"Here is where the road divides
Here is where we realize
The sculpting of the Father's great design
Thru' time you've been a friend to me
But time is now the enemy
I wish we didn't have to say goodbye
But I know the road He chose for me
Is not the road he chose for you
So as we chase the dreams we're after
Pray for me and I'll pray for you
Pray that we will keep the common ground
Won't you pray for me and I'll pray for you
And one day love will bring us back around again" -Michael W. Smith

Thanks for all you are, Scott. I wish things would have happened differently. I love you and will be here for you always.
~Stephanie

Hello from the Land of CHAOS!

I figured it was time to update my post, so for anyone who may venture to read my blog, here goes nothin' (rather, here goes somethin'...anyway...yeah...:))
I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed both physically and emotionally. I think I have "too much on my plate", so this week's goal is to manage that and bring my activities down to a level where I have time for myself. This past week has been pretty tough working through my emotions about Scott and my breakup as well as things going on with my Grandpa in Florida. Things aren't going so well with my Grandpa, and I'm having a hard time staying in Nebraska. My instincts make me want to get on a plane and go, but I know that's not practical. I need to stay here and finish school. I will go down there in December. Until then, letters and phone calls will have to do. Scott and I are in the midst of a time when we are figuring things out. I feel like as much as we wanted things to work out, they just couldn't. I have questioned why this happened and have reflected on what this means. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I have a very close friend now....that's good, right?
I want to end this posting with a short note about one of my favorite things in the whole wide world....BAND. There is no other thing in life (except when I have children someday) that I would get up for at 6am every morning and still be happy about. The game yesterday was a wonderful reminder of how much I love band. I can't even put into words how exciting it is to perform at Memorial Stadium. Not only do I enjoy these performances, but the people in band are wonderful. Going to pep bands each weekend is so great. Every time I get up early for practice, go to an evening rehearsal, or put on my uniform on a game day, I am reminded of how lucky I am to be a member of what is in my opinion, one of the neatest organizations on campus.

Times that make you think

The past 3 days have been pretty tough. Let me preface my venting by saying that I am happy with my life, and I don't like to dwell on negative things. I like to talk/write about what is bothering me and move on, so here I go...
Scott and I broke up on Sunday. Tough times, but it just wasn't meant to be...at this point in time at least. Thank you to all who have listened to me throughout the past 3 weeks as our relationship has been falling apart...you helped so much. Sunday night, a friend of mine was intoxicated to the point that I was very scared. She had trouble breathing and several times, I thought about calling 911. I was up all night listening for her and waking her up to make sure she was safe.
I spent Monday being sad. I hate being sad and I'm optimistic that this phase of the breakup will not last long. I went to clinical Monday night and met the patient that I took care of today. I realized he was very ill, but didn't realize the extent of his illness until I went to clinical today. In my opinion, it's a bad clinical day when I can't make my patient better. There was nothing that medicine could do to improve his health. This was a very sad day for his family and for him as they learned about the seriousness of his many conditions. It was strange how much he reminded me of my Grandpa. He's about the same age as my Grandpa and he received similar news from his doctors. It was sad and strange how it seemed that I was given the opportunity to indirectly help my Grandpa (or at least someone in a similar situation). I am certain that things happen for a reason.
I'm off to play some raquetball and relax after the hard days. Life will get better, and like I said...venting is beneficial in the moving on process, so thanks for listening. Have a great Wednesday.

Here we are

Week 2 of school is almost over....good grief, where has the time gone?! I am enjoying the challenges of balancing flagline, classes, clinicals, and outreach directing at church. I love my job, so any time spent working there is definitely worth while. I love band....this morning at 6am, I was contemplating how I must really be passionate about something to get up at 6am every morning and be happy about it. Sleep is overrated, right?! Relationship status---we're figuring it out. I need to know what I want right now. He and I have been good friends for several years. No matter what happens between us, at least we have that. I feel that I am growing a lot this semester as I prepare to venture out into the "real world."
I hope everyone had a wonderful second week of classes! Take care!