In Florida

I'm in Florida. It's good to be with my Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt. Take care.

On my way to Florida...

I'm taking off for Florida this Saturday. I talked to my Grandma yesterday and I'm so ready to be there. I want to see them and be closer so I can help. This is a scary time, and in my opinion, these times provide opportunities for families to stand tall together and support each other. I'm ready to do this. I will be in Florida from Saturday until Wednesday.
There is lots to get done before leaving on Saturday...1.Register for STOP class (yeah, I got a speeding ticket), 2.Get 10 inches of my hair cut off tomorrow...ahhh! 3.Laundry 4.Girlie night on Wednesday 5.Get new license plates 6.Nanny and babysit through Friday evening 7.Visit my friend who is 8 1/2 months pregnant...she may be a mommy before I get back!
My parents get back to Nebraska the day after I leave. I was thinking a while ago, and I don't think I have ever gone this long without seeing my parents. It has been about a month since I last saw them. I'm surprised at how homesick I feel. I talked to Emily today, and she will be back in Nebraska the day I get back. I think we're going to have a day of "familyness" after we all get back. I need that.
I hope you all have a great rest of the week. Take care and I wish you peace in these last few weeks of summer.

Today

I was backed into as I was pulling into the parking garage tonight. I learned a lot while at the police station.
I'll probably be going to Florida in the next couple weeks. I need to see my Grandpa before school starts. He will be starting some heavy-duty chemotherapy and radiation. My mom will stay down there for several months. This is scary stuff. Prayers are greatly appreciated. Have a good Thursday.

Growing up

I feel like I have been maturing quite a bit this summer. Granted, I will never be the kind of person whose picture is in the dictionary next to the word "mature", but I think I have made lots of progress. As I reflect on things that have happened this summer and my thought processes, I notice many things that indicate an increased level of maturity. Several things have contributed to this...
I am looking forward to and have begun planning for graduation and life in the real world. Julie and I decided on a place to live, and I am getting things in line here so I am ready to move at the beginning of December. I realize this next semester will be very crazy with graduation, marching band, and working as an outreach director. However, I am definitely up for the challenge. I have formed some goals for after graduation as well. I would like to attend grad school and have the ultimate goal of becoming a nurse practitioner. Goals have always helped to motivate me.
I have found my relationship with Scott to provide a means of personal growth. Being that the relationship just seemed to happen with no real planning on either part, it has been a relatively stress-free way to grow up. I feel we have the capacity to do a lot of growing up together. I also think that this relationship has tested and helped me learn about my relationships with my friends. I have strived for a balance between a significant other and my best friends. Both mean the world to me, and I want them to know this.
I have been helping my parents while they are helping my Grandpa after his surgery. His need for surgery was completely unplanned, and my family has pulled together to help each other in any way possible.
Being a nanny has helped me mature a great deal. Every day, I get up early and spend a whole day with my three kids. I take them to swim lessons, the library, lead craft activities, etc. All of these activities make me feel like a mother (especially when I'm driving their minivan around.) The responsibility that this job brings has been really nice.
There are many ways I feel I have grown this summer and over the past year. I know maturity is a constantly-changing phenomenon, but I'm ready and willing to face it head-on!
(Even though I feel I have matured a lot, don't worry...I will still eat frozen peas, big pickles, lack cooking skills, and have times where I just want to be silly.)

A nice phone call and childhood memories relived.

I talked to my Grandpa on the phone today. It was great to hear his voice and talk to him. His recovery is going very smoothly. We are awaiting the pathology report still, but as my Grandpa put it, "We're taking each piece as it comes and dealing with it. That's all we can do." I found that to make a lot of sense.
A couple girls I babysit came over last night and spent the night with me. I hadn't had a slumber party in years. We had a lot of fun! We made dinner, went to the park, watched a movie and painted our fingernails. We stayed up until midnight and were up at 7am. I remember the days of having that much energy... This morning, we went to church and then out to lunch. I had a great time. It reminded me of all those sleepovers I had when I was younger. The only thing that changed was I was more a chaperone now as opposed to a participant...oh the joys of getting older.
Speaking of getting older...Last week while apartment shopping, I was asked if I was in high school. This didn't surprise me all that much being that I am frequently mistaken for being younger than my age, but then a few days later, I took the kids I nanny to the pool and someone there referred to one of the kids as "my daughter." She thought I was old enough to have a 9 year old, a 7 year old and a 4 year old. For all of you who don't want to do the math, that would mean I would have birthed children when I was 13 years old, 15, and 18. Good grief... It's just funny that I was mistaken for being way younger than I really am and older than I really am all within one week.
Have a good Sunday! Pinewood bowl is on the agenda for this evening. I'm excited to see it!

Updates

I have been talking to my Mom and Dad a couple times each day, and here is the update: The doctor and my parents worded my Grandpa's condition as "good news/bad news." The good news is that his recovery from surgery has gone very well. The bad news is that they found more cancer than they had anticipated. I know my Grandpa is a fighter though and I'm feeling more optimistic than I was two days ago. We will take one day at a time. It is still so hard to be far away. I feel helpless...I want to help, but there's not much I feel I can do from this far away.
I babysat yesterday and then hung out with my roommates and Scott last night. Today, I woke up and ran some errands. I checked out the new/temporary nursing college. It's a little distance from campus, but a very nice facility. I practiced guitar last night. I think I have 5 main chords down. I love the sound of the guitar and can't wait until I can play songs and sing along. Tonight, I will spend the evening with my 3 cousins. I love those girls...can't wait to live closer to them.
Tomorrow, 2 girls I babysit are coming over to my apartment for the evening and will stay with me through Sunday. They are like little sisters to me, and I'm excited to see them!
I'll keep you posted on things. I am feeling more optimistic although there is quite the road ahead. I know the power of prayer and of a strong spirit. Thank you everyone for your kind words and support...it helps so much.

I'm not sure what to say...

I got a call from my mom tonight. My Grandpa came through his ~4 hour surgery and they discovered that the cancer was in more of his pancreas than they had anticipated. As the doctor put it, this was "not the kind of cancer they were hoping for." What the heck are we supposed to do with that? I hate that this is happening to him and I hate that I'm so far away. I won't make the trip down to Florida now since my parents advise waiting a while, but in the next couple days I'll make the decision of whether or not to go. They want to see how his first couple days out of surgery go before I make that decision. The good news is he came through the surgery and is resting comfortably on medication. The bad news is they found more cancer than they anticipated and we are awaiting a pathology report that determines whether or not the caner has spread any further. My mom said "You should have seen how much Grandpa talked about you this morning as he was waiting to go back to surgery. As he talked, he was so proud." This rips at my heart. Why do things like this happen to people like my Grandpa--people who would give his right leg to someone in need--people who always know the right things to say to make an awkward teenager turned into a 22 year-old college student feel all right about life. There is so much to my Grandpa that people just don't know because he doesn't talk about how great he is.
Speaking of great people---as I walked out of my room tonight teary-eyed, it was like my 3 roommates were ready. I walked right into a big group hug that lasted as long as I needed it to. I am so blessed to know these wonderful people and be able to call them my friends.
Please keep my Grandpa in your prayers. The next few days will tell us a lot. Until then, we have patience and prayers.

I'm tired but still kickin'

I'm tired today. It has been a great weekend, but I have worked all week and this weekend also (no days off this week!) Also, the apartment shopping yesterday drained me. It was really exciting though.
I woke up early this morning to see Scott's family off at their house. We had breakfast there together. I feel so at home with his family...it has been nice to have them close especially when my parents are in Florida under the circumstances they are there for. I talked to my Dad today...we're in the "waiting" stage of this process. My Grandpa goes into surgery on Tuesday, so until then, we wait. I'm not a good "waiter" and again it's hard to be so far away.
This week I shall be productive. I cleaned my room this past week, so I will keep that up. I cleaned in the living room this afternoon. It feels good to get some of that stuff finished. I went to church this morning, then to the BBQ there. It was fun to see people and hang out and laugh for a while this afternoon.
Have a great start to the week!

A chance to clear my mind.

The events of today have been a perfect way to clear my head of the worries I have been having lately. My Grandpa is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. The doctors are still unsure of what the "shadow" on his pancreas is. I'm scared and wish there was more I could do to help. It's hard being so far away.
Last night, a group of us went to dinner at Spaghetti Works, then out for ice cream, and then to The Lofte to see Amanda and Greg perform in the musical Damn Yankees. I really enjoyed the show and commend them on a spectacular performance. It was fun to hang out with my roomies, Ryan, Scott and John too! I came home wondering what John went home thinking about my roommies and I (as we can get pretty crazy when we're all together...imagine that! :)) I was relieved to see that he had a good time...we sure enjoyed having him along! Last night after getting back into Lincoln, Scott and I launched into one of our deep conversations. We both really like words and conversation, but this conversation seemed different. I was feeling confused about what I want in a relationship in this stage of my life. I think and analyze a lot...last night, several issues came up between us. I went to bed after that conversation last night feeling very uneasy.
Today was a great chance to clear my head. Julie and I visited 11 different apartments in Omaha. We had breakfast together here at the apartment and chatted this morning. I don't know how she does it, but she has always had a way of saying things in a way I understand and in a way that conveys her honest and caring personality. After apartment shopping, I spent the evening with my 3 little cousins. It helped me feel at ease as I spent time with 3 of my favorite people.
I have come to several conclusions regarding my relationship and with life in general. I seem to go in a cycle of pondering things, coming to conclusions, then finding other things to think about. I am fascinated by life and intreagued with what happens in it. I am worried about my Grandpa but pray that things will work out and he will have the strength to pull through.

Whew! Busy 4th of July.

Today was a very busy day. Here is why I am sleeeepy right now:
-Drove out to the farm and rode the 4-wheeler and shot a gun for the first time
-Came back to the apartment to get our swimsuits
-Went swimming with Scott's family and had lunch with them
-Came back to the apartment and played a couple games of Sequence with Steph and Ryan and I scrapbooked a little
-Drove out to Seward for 4th of July festivities (listened to a band, walked around, watched fireworks and lit some of our own)
-Came back to Scott and Jason's house and lit off some more fireworks.

It was a good day and it's time for bed now. I heard from my parents today also...they have arrived safely to my Grandparent's house.

I hope everyone had a good 4th of July. Goodnight.

4th of July Eve

I went to Walmart today and tackled the photo machine. I mean this figuratively (is that a word??), but I would have preferred to tackle it physically. I ended up getting quadruplets of many of the pictures I ordered and not getting some of the other ones I wanted. It kind of made me laugh, so if anyone wants a copy of pictures from my trip to California or my trip to Colorado, let me know! :)
Sarah and I went to see the movie Madagascar this afternoon. If I had to review the movie, I'd call it strange. It had its funny parts, but strange describes it more accurately.
I spent time with Scott and his family tonight at their big "lighting fireworks" gathering. It was really fun to light fireworks and I really enjoy spending time with his family. On the way back into Lincoln, his dad and I discussed which actors and actresses we thought were "hot" and why we thought that...it was a really humerous conversation.
I got a call from my mom tonight. My parents are spending the night in Georgia before making the rest of the journey tomorrow. I wish I could be there and I wish I could give my Grandparents a big hug. I'll stay close to them with my thoughts and prayers though. Any thought in your prayers for them is appreciated too.
Have a happy 4th of July tomorrow. I'm headed back to the farm in the morning for some 4-wheeler riding and hanging out. I'll spend time with my roommie I haven't seen for 6 weeks tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow evening, I will be in Seward where there is supposedly a fun 4th of July celebration.
Peace out and have a great holiday.